Different Ways to Say 'Help Me'
by Varmint
Summary: Ten super powered teens living under the same roof. Three insane uncles, one that is somewhat sane, and one very annoyed Bat/Father. If you thought the Bat!siblings were bad as children, you can only imagine them now as teenagers. "Dick, don't look in there!" "Hey, Zee, what's this for? It's all thin and round and weird looking! Is it for girls only?" "RICHARD!"
1. Chapter 1

**So, finally here's the sequel to 'Different Ways to Say Dad'! Hope you like!**

Kaldur stood proud beside Bruce and Leonidas, already dressed for their day out as his backpack hung over his shoulder. His siblings were all standing in a line in front of himself and both adults, either smiling evilly or staring in a bored manner as Bruce told them the rules once more.

"You know all the emergency numbers?" Leonidas asked Clark and Ollie after Bruce had finished speaking, the adults standing on either side of the line of teens.

"Of course we do, Leo." Ollie answered, smiling brightly as he shook Wally.

"We've been taking care of them for years now." Clark added, hand on Conner's shoulder. "If we could survive when they were kids, teenagers should be a breeze."

Bruce sighed at his best friend's words, shaking his head as Dick started to laugh evilly.

"You kids are old enough to not cause Ollie or Clark any trouble. _Please_ don't make us leave the show before we have to." Bruce told them, which made Raquel take a step forward, hand on her heart.

"We promise to not do anything to make you leave the show. And we won't hurt any other Leaguer too harshly."

Bruce was going to say something about her last words, but Kaldur stopped him. "Father, if we don't go now I won't get there on time."

Bruce nodded and walked out; even though he had a heavy heart in doing so; Kaldur and Leonidas following behind him. Alfred closed the door behind them, turning around to stare at the line of people in front of him. A few seconds passed as the teens smiled brightly at him, then, as soon as they heard the car peel away, Dick and Wally jumped out of place.

"We'll get the popcorn!" They yelled together, Wally grabbing Dick and running with him.

"Me and Arty'll get the blankets!" Raquel exclaimed as she flew Artemis up the stairs, leaving the rest of their siblings with their babysitters.

"What're we going to see?" Ollie asked as he lead the rest of the kids into the living room, smiling widely at the large television that was waiting for them.

"There's 'The Conjuring', The Avengers, and Knucklehead." Jason told him, already with a beer in hand, which made Clark shake his head.

"You kids only want to see Knucklehead because Big Show's in it." Clark rolled his eyes as he said this, a bit annoyed at the teens' addictions.

Jason with the beer, Dick and Wally with the pranks, and the rest of the kids' addictions were so odd that he didn't even want to think about them.

Roy smiled wickedly at the older man, jumping on his shoulders. "And you just want to see the Conjuring to see Wally and Ollie scream like women."

"Of course I want to see that." Clark smiled, arms instantly moving under Roy's knees to not let him fall. "And you want to see the outcome of Ollie and Wally freaking out this time."

Roy nodded, laughing as Clark stuck his tongue out at him. "So what's it going to be?" He asked, glaring at Clark after the man had thrown him on the couch. "I call abuse!"

Clark rolled his eyes at the red head, then sat down beside Ollie, his arm going behind the sofa. "You are so immature for a seventeen year old, Roy."

"And you're _too_ mature to be in a house filled with immature teenagers and Ollie." Roy bit back, laughing as Zatanna suddenly jumped into his lap, holding onto a bag filled with candy and paper and pens.

Jason jumped over the back of the sofa and Ollie and Clark, getting an annoyed yell from both men, and snuggled beside Roy and Megan, Conner sitting on the floor beside Megan. The other sofa was being occupied by the rest of the Bat family, and quickly enough Wally and Dick came back with buckets of popcorn and a few more snacks.

"I want a chocolate bar!" Dick yelled as they passed the candy around, Raquel and Artemis arriving just then with the blankets.

"I want the red one with the Bats!" Megan exclaimed as Artemis started chucking blankets at them, laughing as one him Wally directly in the face.

"Female dog!" Wally hissed as popcorn covered his face, the blanket having hit his bucket.

"Wally! What did I tell you about using those words?" Ollie glared, already having a green blanket wrapped around him.

Wally scratched his butter filled hair, his head cocked to the side. "To not say them with adults around?" The fifteen year old asked, getting a smile and a nod from Ollie.

Clark only shook his head, deciding that this was not argument worth having, and turned to the sanest members of the family, Megan and Conner. "What are we going to end up seeing?"

Conner smiled up at the man he had come to know as a father figure, all the while Megan smiled quietly, the boy saying, "We're between Knucklehead and the Conjuring. You know how much we love to see Ollie and Wally scream like women."

Clark quietly chuckled at his clone's answer, then turned to Ollie, who was now frowning at him. "Having fun?" The blonde asked in a strained voice, arms crossed as he glared at the Man of Steel.

But Clark only smiled at the older man, not able to take him seriously. Normally Ollie would be scary, yes, especially after all the years of hanging around Bats, but not on this particular day. No, Ollie had decided that this would be an easy day for him and wore the Batman pajamas that Roy had gotten him for his birthday. And not only that, but he was tightly hugging the stuffed bear Leonidas had won for him when they celebrated Dick's tenth birthday, only adding to the adorableness the archer was exuding.

"A lot, really." Clark answered honestly, laughing as Ollie hid the bear underneath the blanket.

"So what are we going to see?" Jason asked as he stood in front of the television, two DVD's in hand.

"Just put the Conjuring, Jay-Bird!" Dick yelled, smiling as Zatanna nodded wildly.

"Yeah, I _love_ evil magic and ghosts!" Zatanna added, getting an eye roll from Jason.

"But I want to see Knucklehead! You just can't beat comedies!" Wally added his own input, now sitting on the floor with a kind of fort around him, made by both himself and Raquel.

"And Big Show's a decent actor!" Raquel agreed, high-fiving with her younger sibling.

"Conjuring!" Now Artemis yelled, glaring at the two on the floor.

"Knucklehead!" Conner yelled, only to add to the fire.

Megan smacked him on the arm, only getting a chuckle from him. "It's fun to mess with them."

"You all are knuckleheads!" Roy finally yelled as his younger siblings argued all around him, then he sagely pointed his index finger to the sky, "How about we Rock, paper, scissors, Spock, Zeus for it?"

All the kids only stared at him, then Jason shrugged. "Why don't we just watch the Avengers and end it all?"

Roy glared at his fellow red head and crossed his arms, but the agreement that went through all of them just proved to show that Roy _didn't_ know what's best.

And just as Jason settled between Wally and Raquel on the floor and everyone got comfortable on the floor, the Bat signal shined brightly in the dark night sky, causing them all to groan.

"I hate when movie night's get interrupted!" Artemis growled as she detangled herself from the mess of limbs that were her and Dick, only to groan loudly when the lights went off, meaning that no one would be able to continue watching the movie._  
_

"Livewire's going to get it!"

**This is a new beginning and I'm sorry if it's not funny yet, I'm trying to get back the feel for this story. Anyways, this will now be following the adventures of the Bat Family with all of the kids now as teens and their uncles insaner than ever.**

**Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

"I swear to the great Gods of Olympus, Artemis, if you do not give me back my limited edition Troll Doll, I will murder you in your sleep!"

Bruce sighed as he heard this threat, Leonidas smiling from his spot on the couch beside him as both men tried to relax after a particularly draining mission. But, with ten Bat children running around the house; along with a few friends; there was no way either man was going to get comfortable in their plush couch.

"Me or you?" Leonidas asked the younger man, smiling as Bruce closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

"I already feel a headache coming on..."

"They are teenagers, Bruce. Did you expect this to be easy?" Leonidas chuckled, getting up from the couch to deal with the teens.

"Maybe you should take your shield and spear. The girls are..." Bruce dragged out, looking up at Leonidas with slightly fear-filled eyes.

Leonidas frowned and nodded, already knowing what the other man was talking about, and said, "No kind of Spartan training would prepare a man for the kind of horrors unleashed by these females, Bruce."

With that he trudged up the main stairs, Bruce staring after him with worry, all the while Wally and Dick made their way up from the Batcave.

"What were you two doing down there?" Bruce asked, turning to the Grandfather clock.

Dick smiled widely at his father, running up and hugging him. "Halloween's coming up, so we want to have _the best_ costumes ever!"

Bruce nodded and hugged him back, then nodded at the older of the two ex-Circus acts. "And what were _you_ doing, Wally?"

Wally smirked at him, then tapped the side of his skull. "For me to know and you to hopefully never find out."

And with that Jason bounded down the stairs, holding his head with his right hand as his left arm was in a sling. The three other males in the living room looked at him, wondering what had happened, and he simply stated, "Zatanna."

With that all three just nodded and the two younger went to the kitchen, wondering if Alfred had made any cookies yet.

"Hey, Bruce, where are the rest of the kids?" Jason asked, sitting beside his father to hopefully have a few minutes of silence before the women in the house murdered him.

Bruce sighed, passing a hand through his face, and told him, "Conner and M'gann are in Metropolis with Clark, doing some Halloween shopping before the 31st hits, Roy's doing some thing that I don't want to know about, Kaldur's in his dance class, and Raquel is most probably fighting with Zatanna and Artemis..."

With that last sentence a crash was heard in the manor, making Bruce sigh. "Again."

"Give me back my belt or I will pile-drive you straight through the kitchen table!" Raquel's threatening voice resounded throughout the house, making Jason straighten up in fear.

"You can't catch me, bee-yotch!" Zatanna mocked, and suddenly both teens were bounding down the stairs, Zatanna mocking Raquel as the older cursed bloody murder.

"Raquel, what have I told you of foul language?!" Leonidas yelled after them, a knocked out Artemis slung over his shoulder as he tried to chase after the girls.

But his efforts were futile because the two were mad and at each other's throat and he... Well, he was just a human man that had no idea what to do when the girls' were PMS'ing.

"Leave them alone, Leonidas. I don't want to turn this into World War Three." Jason told him, looking at him as the Spartan stopped in the doorway, staring after the angry girls.

"Three? There have already been two world wars?" Leonidas asked curiously, turning around to look at the eldest bats.

Bruce only smiled slightly and shook his head, all the while Jason smacked his face. "You've been living with us for a good three or five years, yet you don't know about the World Wars?"

Leonidas frowned at him, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at Jason. Unfortunately, Artemis was unconscious, so she couldn't stop herself when she fell from Leonidas' shoulder onto the floor.

"Uh, Leo..." Bruce went to say, but was cut off by the king himself.

"Are you insulting me, Jason? Do you not remember that the very reason I did not know until the internet for a whole year was because you thought I wasn't ready for it?" Leonidas growled, taking a step towards the men on the couch.

Bruce looked at the death glare sent by Leonidas to Jason, then Jason's own, and slowly moved up the couch, not wanting to get caught in the middle of the battle that was about to ensue.

"Well it's not my fault that you were amazed by everything! The first time we tried to get you to eat ice cream you swore it came from the devil!" Jason bit back, getting a growl from his elder.

"Things are not frozen like that where I come from! And everything cold is tied with Lord Hades and his cohorts!"

"Well then, I'm sorry you're such an idiotic caveman!" Jason yelled back, causing Leonidas to scream a battle yell, lunging at the younger.

"Ah!" Jason screamed as the force from Leonidas' tackle made the couch turn over, the two of them and Bruce with it. "Bruce! Help me!"

Bruce quickly scrambled up and looked on in horror and fear as Leonidas and Jason proceeded to fight, throwing punches and kicks, and even a few bites and scratches just to cause the other man embarrassment.

"You interfere, Bat, and I swear I will rip your wings off!" Leonidas threatened, making Bruce raise his hands up in defense.

"I have done nothing." Bruce quickly said, taking a step back as they continued rolling around on the floor.

"Give it back, Raquel! You can't steal my stuff!" Now Zatanna and Raquel were back, the older flying throughout the living room with the younger's troll doll, all the while being chased by her.

"Payback's a bitch, isn't it?" Raquel cackled, making Bruce worry even more.

"Damn it, Wally! I told you to not create a new animal race!" Now Dick and Wally both ran in, a yellow bunny type creature chasing after them as it shot electricity through it's tail.

And looking at the two men rolling around on the floor, the other two being chased by a bunny, two females caught in the middle of fighting, and another one knocked out on the floor, Bruce took out his phone.

"Hey, Ollie?" He asked, staring at the scene of utter chaos in front of him.

_"Yeah, Bruce? What's up?"_

"Is that offer of me staying at your house still valid?" Bruce quietly asked, doing his best to sneak out of the room.

There was a chuckle on the other line, then Ollie answered, _"Of course, Bruce. Just pack enough clothes if they really are that bad."_

"Believe me, Ollie, they are."

"Dad! Help! This bunny is pure evil!"

And with those last words Bruce ran out of his own home, deciding that he could just buy clothes on the way to Star City.

**Please review and share your thoughts.**


	3. Chapter 3

Clark, Ollie, and Bruce all lounged around the pool in Ollie's mansion, relaxing as Bruce told them the most recent story of his children's insanity.

"And Wally somehow created a bunny/rat/electric eel thing that ran both him and Dick around the house as Leonidas and Roy wrestled and Zatanna and Raquel tried to kill one another." Bruce finished, all the while Clark shook his head and Ollie rubbed his beard.

"Is it me, or are they getting crazier?" Clark asked the other adults, to which Bruce only nodded.

"They were a bit out of control a few years back, but they got better." Ollie pointed out, shoving his sunglasses up on his forehead to look at his fellow superheroes.

"Don't remind me..." Bruce groaned, hiding his face in his hands, "Wonder Woman still gives me the stink eye whenever Leonidas is around."

Clark chuckled at him, then looked over the Bat and towards Ollie, who was smiling brightly at him. "Well, at least they stopped attacking the heroes whenever they were around." Clark said, to which Ollie almost laughed.

Bruce groaned again as he remembered when his kids were always attacking his teammates, then asked, "Why is it that my kids have always been so misbehaved?"

Ollie only shrugged his shoulders, leaning back onto his chair. "You have ten kids living in your house, Bruce. Your oldest is Jason Todd, Street Rat with a knack for mischief, and your youngest is Dick Grayson, acrobat who follows in Jason's footsteps."

"And we cannot forget the kids in between _that_ craziness. Wally and Roy are almost as insane as the Joker if given the right incentives." Clark added, which got a glare from Bruce.

"... Am I a bad dad?" Bruce suddenly asked, shocking both his friends.

"What?" They both gasped at the same time, not understanding why Bruce would ask this.

He had always been a good father and he did his best with ten kids. And that wasn't easy, not even for superheroes.

"Of course you're a good dad, Bruce!" Ollie said, suddenly jumping up from his chair to pounce on Bruce, holding onto his shoulders. "Why would you ask this?"

Bruce stared up at him, then slowly grasped Ollie's hands and tried to pry them off of him. "Would you please get off of me, Ollie?"

"Not until you tell me where these doubts come from!"

Bruce rolled his eyes at Ollie's clear overreaction, all the while Clark sighed and shook his head. "Ollie, please remember that Bruce is also Batty, and he can hurt you in a million different ways."

Ollie glared at the man of steel, "I don't care! This guy is doubting his parenting skills and we can't have any of that! Not with ten teenagers that are hellbent on destroying the League!"

And suddenly, Ollie's doorbell rang, making all the man freeze, Ollie's eyes wide as he realized the predicament he had gotten himself into.

"If anyone asks, I will scream rape and burst into tears if you even _try_ to say anything." Ollie hissed at Bruce, who only held his hands up in defense.

"Ollie! Are you in there!?"

Ollie gasped and exclaimed in happiness, jumping off of Bruce and running inside the house, having recognized the voice right away.

"Arty! Roy-Joy! You're alive!" Ollie exclaimed as he ran into the room, quickly going and hugging both children that he had come to know as his Bat-Children.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Artemis chuckled at Ollie's enthusiasm, then noticed Bruce and Clark walking into the room. "Oh... I see why."

Ollie nodded with a pout, then whispered into her ear, "Bruce's really mean! No wonder you always want to stay here!"

Roy now shook his head and pushed Ollie off of them, but still the blonde smiled proudly. "What're you doing here, Brucey-Boy?" Roy asked, even though he knew that Bruce hated that name.

"Yeah, Pater, weren't you supposed to be with the brats at home?" Artemis asked, her head cocked to the side.

Bruce sighed and nodded, "I _was _supposed to be there... But your brothers invented a new brand of bunnies and... Weren't you supposed to be knocked out?"

Artemis chuckled and nodded, scratching the back of her head. "Yeah, but once I came to, I realized the brats were tearing up the house, Leonidas was fighting with Jason and there's no way to stop that, so I just left and grabbed Roy."

Bruce nodded, then sighed as he thought of the destruction that his children were wreaking upon his house.

"What did I ever do?" He groaned, letting his head fall in his hands.

Artemis and Roy only looked at each other and rolled their eyes. "You took in ten different children a few years ago! What else did you expect, dude?" Roy asked, which made Clark roll his own eyes.

"Where are Leonidas and the rest right now? Are they really destroying Wayne Manor?" Clark asked, which made Roy frown.

"I don't really know where Kaldur, Raquel, and Zatanna are, but I can tell you for sure that Wally and Dick are on their way to harass Barry with that Pikachu monster, Jason and Leonidas have now turned their attention preparing to attack Diana, and M'gann and Conner are still in Metropolis, being the only saints in the whole house."

Bruce nodded at this, then sighed as he felt his phone vibrate in his swimsuit. "I cannot believe this! If this is Fox, I am going to hurt someone!" He growled as he picked up his phone, but he quickly paled as soon as the person on the other line answered.

"They did what, Officer?" Bruce asked, eyes wide as his hope for his children slowly diminished. "And those two really were Dick and Wally?" He sighed at the answer, "Thank you. I'll... I'll come pick them up tomorrow. Yes, please leave them in the real jail."

"What happened, Bruce?" Ollie asked as Bruce hung up the call, shaking his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Wally and Dick really did go harass Barry with that Bunny thing. Right now they're at the Precinct, luckily it was Officer Jones who caught them."

"Jones as in Martian Manhunter?" Clark asked, cocking his head to the side.

Artemis frowned as Roy crossed his arms, both of them shaking their own heads. "If it hadn't been the Martian, we would've found about those idiots from the Paparazzi."

Bruce only shook his head and sighed, then looked down at his phone, which had a few missed calls from none other than Barry. "I think it's time we head out to Central."

**Sorry I haven't updated in forever, but the muse for this story is shaky at best.**

**But, please review if you want me to continue!**


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